Dark healing
by Englishhedgehog13
Summary: See how Riku dealt with the guilt of what he'd done to his friends, while Namine had to deal with the pain that he carried, as Sora slept. Cover owned by YuukiLovesyou


Breathing space. A deadly foe that hadn't left Riku's side since he had started growing up.

Hating breathing space is to be expected from boys, particularly teenagers. Most guys take pride in living their life, with never a dull moment. Spending every second, exercising, racing, fighting, anything to keep themselves, active. And that was most definitely, an impression that this once confident teen gave.

But that wasn't the true reason that he despised breathing space. Oh no. This depression that Riku would likely never escape was the effect it had put on him.

He needed a distraction. Anything to keep his thoughts occupied, for even a minute. Turning away from the huge windows, hidden behind the curtains, he moved around the room, attempting to look for something interesting. But focusing on the present instead of the past had lately, been a rare occasion for the silver haired boy. While his eyes may have been attacking the walls, his mind was completely disconnected. It wasn't until his eyes met with a small drawing attached to the wall that he began to slowly meet with reality again.

The drawing was a simple one. A straight pathway; one that slowly disappeared into the grass, surrounding it and becoming even harder to see, thanks to the night sky. Riku would have admired the drawing, if he didn't know what it was based on. But the fact of the matter is, he did know. And he wouldn't be forgetting any time soon. Riku looked down at himself, giving a small sigh.

That night was when it all began. When he felt at his highest. That's when Riku let his thoughts get the better of him.

Those weeks formed the biggest struggle of his life. All alone in what felt like an endlessly large castle. New enemies appearing left and right, carrying a shocking amount of knowledge about him and his past. Even a perfect replica of himself, that he still didn't understand the motives behind. And to top it all off, his greatest enemy and fear, haunting him; Ansem had done his best to destroy Riku. And had come so close to achieving, so many times. All part of the journey to reunite with his best friend again.

Although, the reunion wasn't as heartfelt as he imagined it.

Looking back, Riku realised that having to be ready for anything at any moment was actually rather beneficial. The night after he left that castle was when everything went downhill.

It had started with wondering about his reunion with Sora. The amount of obstacles, he had forced himself through was unimaginable. He wouldn't have believed that he could handle so much and still succeed before he actually managed it. He was so determined to see Sora, that one question never occurred to him. What would the reunion have been like? How would Sora react once his eyes meet with the person who he was sure, would always be there for him? Only to be betrayed, and left to pick up the pieces of his ruined life. A ruined life that Riku only made worse.

And then there was Zexion. That guy really knew how to break Riku's defences. When he had revealed that the true reason behind Destiny Island's destruction was caused by the guilt driven teen, he dismissed it instantly. Why would he accept it? The thought of ruining the only place he had ever known, was... psychopathic.

But the more he thought about it, the more the pieces seemed to come together. The darkness that had started growing beneath his feet before he left the island. How Ansem became so confident that Riku would accept his offer for power.

There was always a small hint of thought in Riku's mind, telling him that this evidence was far too weak to add up. But at some point, he decided to push logic far away. He would listen to his own reasoning now.

Mickey knew. From the second that Riku had started walking far ahead of him, or going silent whenever Mickey would mention the point behind their journey. He had tried his best to reassure him, that it was perfectly ok. That everything would be fine in the end. But that only made Riku feel worse. As it led him to another question.

What would be the end? Once the Organisation is dealt with... or if the Organisation is dealt with, what would happen from then on? The way he saw it, Sora and Kairi would go back to the islands, Mickey would go back to Minnie. He really liked to talk about Minnie. Donald and Goofy would serve Disney castle, once again. Happily ever after.

As for Riku. Who knows? Left to wonder these worlds. The only other 2 worlds he knew of were the world that never was, and Twilight Town, where he stood right now.

Heh. One of those worlds existed as pure darkness. How perfectly fitting. Maybe he could find a place to wonder after this is all over.

"Aahhh!" Riku forced his hands upon his eyes, through the blindfold. For a moment, he just stood there, head buried in his hands.

Soon, his head was back up and facing the picture on the wall. 'Another bad daydream.' He thought to himself, giving a rather sarcastic smile. Someday, he'd learn to stop doing that.

Paying no more attention to that drawing, he paced around the room, searching for another object to distract him for the time being. When in the corner, almost slipping off the wall was another drawing. A drawing so simple yet was containing so many memories.

The picture was of the old island gang. Sora, Kairi, and the former Riku, as he liked to think of his old self, intertwining hands with each other. Just like their young 5 year old selves.

It wasn't easy to see, due to the whiteness of the dress. But upon closer inspection, he noticed blonde hair and another hand, joined with his own.

Sora, Kairi, Riku... and Namine.

Namine. If there was ever such a thing as curses, she was the living proof. A way of haunting the boy, until he lost all sanity. A reminder of the mistakes that he could never make up for, no matter how hard he tried. Karma in the flesh.

And yet in a weird way, he was glad this curse existed.

The only thing that defines Namine is a ray of sunshine. It was only Riku's first meeting with her, and she was showing concern for his life, like if his mother left him alone at the age of 4. Even when Riku confessed to her that he was going to face Ansem, she kept her spirits high, understanding that showing any kinds of sadness wouldn't help his situation.

Recalling the memory, the much longer haired teen smiled to himself. Here he was thinking about Namine, as if she had a heart of her own.

A few months later, they met again at the Twilight Town Mansion. Only this time, no smiles were had. The once happy nobody, would stare at the floor, feeling discomfort and every second.

And it didn't take a genius to figure out why this was. After all, the last time they saw each other was a long while ago. Yet, three pods hadn't been emptied.

As curious as Riku was, he didn't ask her for a while. He couldn't bring himself to speak to the person with the face that could only supply him with a dark reminder.

And then there was DiZ. Riku had no idea of what to make of that guy. Sometimes he was helpful, sometimes he just wanted to get in the way. Sometimes he claimed to exist as a guide, instead of an actual person.

But Riku was starting to recognise his personality. Cold.

While he wasn't exactly the nicest guy back at Castle Oblivion, something had definitely changed. The only smile he would ever give was a smile of mockery. A smile of pure hatred. Which was the only thing that fuelled his mind.

And maybe it wouldn't have been so bad, if he didn't take it out on Namine at every moment.

As if the poor girl wasn't stressed out enough from trying to fix Sora's memories without a single day off. DiZ might as well have hit her with a whip, whenever he felt she wasn't working hard enough.

He made it clear that the sight of a nobody was disgusting to him. And Riku couldn't understand why.

Although, his extreme knowledge of heartless, nobodies and Keyblades, as well as his ability to use dark corridors had started to remind him of a certain someone else.

Too bad that was impossible.

This was when Riku felt that he couldn't go any lower, even after everything he did almost half a year ago. He was following DiZ's example.

He knew he shouldn't treat her like a nobody. Heart or no heart, she was still her own person. Different from other people, just like a human being. But she reminded him far too much of Kairi.

Then again, why should he be trying to forget Kairi? Trying to forget your childhood friends for the past 10 years; real nice, isn't it? But Riku still refused to listen to reason. All he knew was that Namine reminded him of his past, and he didn't need that reminder.

He did talk to her on rare occasion. But they could both agree that they would rather have no conversation, than these ones.

Sora was the only subject that Riku would bring up. How Namine's getting on with fixing his memories, or how she can't be doing her best if it's taking so long. The worst part was he knew how much pressure he was putting on her. Sometimes, she looked like she was a mere sentence away from breaking down.

Of course that didn't stop him. Although, there was a day when he asked DiZ about his treatment of Namine. No surprise was given when he continued to show his hatred for nobodies.

Which lead to Riku asking "Why does her being a nobody matter?"

"No need to make her feel normal. She'll be gone soon."

He remembered how those words didn't phase any part of him. How he just left at that note. Even taking some of it to heart, as if DiZ had planted a message in his head.

Wonder what Sora would think.

Better yet, what did Namine think? The friend who Riku had clicked with, in mere seconds. Instantly betraying her in the next meeting. The only person who could have possibly shown any concern for her, and he said to himself that it wasn't worth bothering with.

Yet he planned to stay that way.

But in the end, it didn't last too long. And looking back, he was incredibly thankful for that.

About a month later, he was sitting on top of a bed, as he occupied a small bedroom that had slowly come to be his own. When a small, gentle knock came from his door. The silver haired boy's eyes slowly opened at the sound, but he didn't bother moving. When the door started to slowly creak open, he twisted himself around to face his company.

There stood Namine, staring at the bottom of the bed, just below his feet. As if her eyes were struggling to reach his face.

"H-Hi." She stuttered out. She managed to raise her head slightly higher, still not managing to reach his face. But from the sight before him, Riku was more than glad that she wouldn't go any higher.

It was not a pleasant sight. Her eyes contained the biggest bags that he may have ever seen. Her hair was in a complete tangle, which made Riku severely miss the curled blonde hair that he used to admire. The rest of her face had clearly not said hello to any water in a while, as sweat and dust was occupying her cheeks. She definitely was not at her best today.

Oh well. Comes with the price, I guess.

Riku eyes continued to pierce her skin, despite the rather blank expression on his face. Their awkward silence didn't stop until his eyes lowered a little, and he saw what lay in her hands. Delicately laid over her palms, was a small rectangular piece of silk. Unless he was very much mistaken, a blindfold.

With a quick leap off his bed, he was right in front of her. She instantly threw her hands up in defence, screwing her eyes shut like her life depended on it. When nothing happened, she hesitantly opened one eye, noticing Riku's rather unamused face. Trying her best to force a smile to lighten the mood, she drew her arms back to their original position.

"What's this for?" Riku spoke emotionlessly. If you had to guess who the nobody was out of these two, you sure wouldn't pick Namine. The blonde finally managed to meet his stare, although she didn't feel too happy about it.

"DiZ told me to give it to you. He said he would help you control Ansem's power over you." She whispered softly.

Riku suddenly felt a huge blow to his mood at that sentence. Ansem was the absolute last thing he needed to be reminded of. As if he wasn't going through enough already, (although as he looked back, he realised that Namine was going through much worse) she just add to bring his arch enemy up.

Namine started to feel herself sweat, in nervousness. This long pause from him was not giving her much hope.

When suddenly the silence was broken. "Don't you have some bigger mistakes to fix, before you make more?" He whispered through gritted teeth, sounding much harsher than intended.

To his surprise, almost no reaction was received. Namine continued to look at him, albeit a hint of sadness on her face. She started lifting her hands up to give him the blindfold, when she stopped right in place.

And that's when it happened.

Her whole body start twitching at a slow pace. Her hands gripped at the blindfold, and her mouth started opening and closing over and over. Like she wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words. She opened her mouth again in an attempt to speak, but only a small choke came out.

Tears startled running down her cheeks, as she struggled to keep looking up.

"Riku..." She managed to utter before choking on a sob.

But it wasn't Namine who he saw. And it wasn't Namine's voice he heard.

The sadness of that face. The pain, the misery. All of the heartache that came from a face just like that.

And just like the other person, it was caused by Riku.

For the first time in so long, his mind was flooded with nothing but guilt. For the first time he was speechless, with no idea of what to do. For the first time, he felt truly blown away.

So he did the only thing he could think of. He ran.

He didn't even know he could run so fast until he did. He sped out of the room, right past the crying Namine, out of the mansion and into the woods, as fast as his legs could carry him. And he didn't stop until he was far through the forest where no one could easily find him.

He panted so hard for so long. Sweat was racing down his skin at incredible speed. His heart was experiencing its own ache once more. He fell to the floor, crushing his hands against his ears. He couldn't take it. He couldn't take any of it.

All of it was coming back to him. Sora readying his keyblade, unhesitant to say "you're on the wrong side!" Kairi having to run from him after Sora's supposed death. Zexion accusing him of destroying Destiny Islands.

It hurt. It hurt so much.

Eventually he just lay there. Barely any sign of life coming from his body. Maybe he could escape reality this way.

"Sora would know." He whispered to himself. He'd be able to fix the problem in a heartbeat with no hard feelings given. Whereas this failure couldn't even begin.

He knew that Namine and Sora were friends. If they weren't, Namine wouldn't have been so determined to keep him safe. But she was the one who ruined him as well. But that didn't matter in Sora's book. Despite every event that occurred before, they still ended up close in just a couple of days.

What would happen if Riku just left now? Without interfering in any of the following events. Namine would fix Sora's memories, he'd come back and save the day, eventually reuniting with Kairi and happily ever after. Granted, he would probably try looking for Riku first. But that's fine. He'd give up eventually.

Namine would supposedly reunite with Kairi. Would that end her life? Would she be unable to feel again? Without a heart, surely nobodies wouldn't have anything left after they go. They'd be gone. But until she does go, what would be the highlights of her life? Having to deal with DiZ's cold words, probably. What a life to live.

And then another memory crossed his mind. When Zexion had trapped him in light. Riku hadn't fought back. He had accepted his fate. He would lie there, trapped forever with no way out.

But Namine came to him. She made him get out of there. She saved his life.

Back to reality.

Riku's eyes forced themselves back open, so he was staring at the grass beside him.. He tried to stand himself up, but his body refused to co-operate. He was still holding himself back. He was too unsure of what he would do.

He finally managed to sit himself up, so he was staring in the direction of the mansion. The thought of going back there was terrifying to him now. But the longer he stayed out here, the longer he would picture Namine's face, wet with tears.

"No." He whispered to himself, and began running forward through the woods again.

The term nobody was quickly losing its meaning.

_

Today must have been the longest day of the year. Every hour felt like a week had just gone by. Fixing memories made a hard life. Namine sighed as she continued to draw the outlines of brown hair. Belonging to Selphie, if she remembered correctly. It didn't help that her mind kept wondering away, leading her to find that she had ended up drawing silver hair instead of brown. But she forced those thoughts away and carried on.

Suddenly the door flew open, instantly gaining the young nobody's attention. There stood the person, whom she wasn't sure she was dying to see or never wanted to see again. She instantly gripped her sketchbook close to her chest, desperate to not think about what he planned to do this time.

"Put down the sketchbook, Namine." That voice. Her screwed shut eyes flung open at a speed, she didn't even know was possible. The voice she heard belonged to the real Riku, as she called it. The boy she had met inside of the pod room. The one she had smiled warmly at, as he spoke to her.

She stared at his face, which currently contained a rather unreadable expression. No sign of anger, pain or hate. But hardly any sign of happiness, either.

In truth he was trying to smile. Something, that would take a while to get used to again.

"W-What for?" She asked, her grip loosening.

Riku didn't reply; instead he walked over to Namine's chair, causing heat to build up inside of her. When he started to raise his hand, she thought he was about to hit her. She jerked her head down in fear, but refused to put up any form of self defence. She couldn't believe for a second that he would do that to her.

Either way, what happened next was equally unexpected.

A warm sensation flowed through her hair, causing a shiver to progress down her spine. And it happened again. And again. And again. At first her face was racking with confusion, but then she soon realised what was happening. Which made a light blush take up the space of her cheeks.

Riku was stroking her hair!

Or at least attempting to. His hand got stuck at a few tangles, every now and then.

"I think this says enough." He replied as calmly as before. Namine couldn't understand why he was doing such a thing, but as she felt her body relax with each caress, she didn't feel like complaining.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm gonna be honest, Namine. You look like you've gone through a war zone." He smirked at his own comment. Saying something like that felt brand new to him. But he liked it.

Namine exerted a small giggle at his sentence, but then immediately slapped her hand over her lips. When was the last time she had done that?

"Comes with the process, I guess." She hesitantly replied, still adjusting to this type of conversation.

"Well, it's not the Namine that I want to see." With that, he removed his hand from her hair and pushed her sketchbook on to the table. She was at a loss for words. Riku kneeled down so his face was level with hers. She turned to look at him, unsure of what to say.

"Come with me. Please?" He showed the warmest smile, he could muster. Which wasn't saying very much. Unfortunately, she was a bit too surprised to respond at that point.

Just when the boy's patience was starting to wear thin, she slowly began to nod her head.

"Okay." She agreed. Riku blew a huge sigh of relief.

_

Namine could not believe anything her eyes were telling her right now. Her mouth was hanging open; her ability to speak had vanished.

She was standing in the middle of her old bedroom. The last time she had been here, DiZ had torn the room apart. She was so tired, desperate for sleep. But when he caught her, he made sure that she would never want to step foot into the room again. She remembered how her bed was the only thing that remained intact.

So how could she be here, marvelling at how neatly made the bed was? Or, at the organised bedside table right next to it. Or at the nice, smooth rug beneath her sandals, with a tall, albeit empty shelf at the end of it. Or at all the drawings she had made in her time at Castle Oblivion that took up all the space on the wall.

"H-How?" Was all the shocked girl managed to say as she walked around the room, studying everything inside.

"I didn't think, that white room was nice to be in." Riku replied, stepping into the room with her, his spirits lifting tremendously. "Besides, you can't sleep in there."

Namine immediately shifted her gaze to Riku, in disbelief. Surely, he couldn't mean what she thought he meant.

"But, what about Sora?" She asked, with a hint of sudden discomfort. She didn't want to ruin the moment, by bringing him up.

To her surprise, Riku wasn't slightly phased. He knew that what he was doing would delay Sora's awakening. But he couldn't just ignore his other friends' needs, right?

At least, that's what his heart was telling him.

"We can worry about that once you're feeling better." He said with increased confidence, surprising Namine even more.

She slowly looked down, unsure of what to think. Suddenly, Riku's hope was dropping back down again. Maybe she did just want to get Sora's memories fixed, after all. Rendering this all, pointless.

"Riku..." She uttered again. This time felt a lot nicer than the last, although not quite as nice as he imagined when setting this room up.

He turned his head to his left, starting to feel a little embarrassed.

"Well, if you'd rather not-" His words were cut off as arms were instantly thrown around his neck. Riku almost fell to the ground from her force, but managed to keep on his feet, despite his surprise. Namine didn't say a word as her grip around him, tightened. While he couldn't see her face, he swore he could hear a sniff or two.

Once the surprise fully wore off, he slowly wrapped his arms around her waist, returning the hug.

They stayed like that for at least a few minutes before Namine, finally pulled away. She didn't hesitate to look at him at all, which was one heck of a relief for the silver haired boy.

"If DiZ ever steps in here, he's going to kill me." Namine pointed out. When Riku smiled as a response, she felt like she was talking to the wrong person.

It felt pretty alien for him too.

"If he does, just tell him that I'm responsible. I can handle it." He replied without a hint of worry. Namine's spirits rose higher, although a hint of guilt was beating at her. Even though she knew Riku could handle himself.

Noticing the lack of reply, he added "I'll leave you to yourself then." He turned to the doorway and headed out.

"Riku?" He turned his head back to her at his name.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." Namine paused a second, before smiling warmly at him.

Riku thought to himself for a brief moment. But after, he was quick to nod and smile back.

And just like that, the troubled boy felt content again. Like he wasn't just hurting himself, and that he was actually having a good impact on someone's life. As well as his own.

Not that this meant fun times would be had from then on. After a few days of recovering, Namine was instantly back to work and at an even faster pace, from what he could tell. Although she sometimes got distracted, when she felt Riku's gaze over her shoulder.

But at least they talked about a bit more than just Sora. For a nobody who grew up in a castle all alone, Namine had a lot to talk about. She would ask Riku about the outside world, how his life was back home or her own life at Castle Oblivion. Strangely, talking about his past with his friends didn't bother him anymore. Maybe getting his thoughts out there was what he needed.

Regardless of the reason, he didn't care. At least the two were enjoying themselves now.

...He really wished it could have lasted longer.

He could only ignore the delay in Sora's memory reparations for so long. And both he and DiZ were starting to suspect something seriously wrong.

Namine gave in and told them the details. About how Sora's memories had found their way into something else and someone else and formed living beings. And how Sora's memories would never come back, as long as they were around.

This lead to all of Riku's free time being eaten up. Which lead to him thinking of the serious stuff, again. Now he was working on getting those memories back. And he was succeeding,

One set of memories down. Another one to go.

And that brings him to today. Riku opened his eyes again (not that it made a difference now) and found himself back in the white room. He took the environment around him in, letting out a sad sigh.

Time to prepare for reality.

He would fight Sora's nobody tomorrow. And he can't leave until he brings him to DiZ. Alive. It was going to be a tough fight, and he wasn't sure about how much of a chance he has. But he knew that Sora's nobody was going to fight with everything he had. Judging by the time of day it is now, and the sun starting to set outside...

He was currently killing his best friend.

He was about to raise his hand to open a dark corridor, when he heard a quiet but noticeable shuffle towards him, followed by a loud creak of the door. Well that definitely wasn't DiZ who just entered.

"Has Xion disappeared, Namine?" He spoke, sadly.

"You can still think of her, just fine. It shouldn't be too long, now." Namine rubbed her shoulder, feeling spots of guilt take her over.

"Well, it looks like I'm up next."

"Do you have to go?"

"If I don't, then there's not a chance of Sora waking up. You know that better than anyone." He sighed, as his hands gripped the table behind him. He heard her mutter "Ok" in agreement. He could tell she hated this as much as he did.

"Do you think you'll win? Without using darkness, I mean?"

Riku's breath hitched in his throat. If he didn't win, then darkness would be his trump card. But just the thought of wearing the face of Ansem, felt like nothing more than pure torture. And he would likely be facing it soon. Forever.

"I don't know." Riku sat on the table, feeling small drops of sweat run down his body. He didn't feel ready for this at all. He needed more time.

His nervous thoughts halted as he felt two smaller hands wrap around his own, softly.

"Riku. If you have to use darkness, just remember." Her grip on his palm tightened. The nervous boy let his hand relax into hers.

"It won't change anything between us."

At her words, the scared teen's expression rose ever so slightly. The thought of looking in the mirror and seeing his greatest enemy's face still felt like hell, to him. But at least the days after with Namine, wouldn't be too bad. Though it looked like, there weren't many days left.

Riku stood up, freeing his hand from her grasp.

"I need to go." He raised his hand in front of him, and stared as the dark portal appeared. He wanted to walk inside it, but he found himself too afraid. Afraid of what would happen after.

"Good luck." Namine said, trying to sound extra cheerful.

That didn't help the situation.

Well, if he was going to lose his face, he'd give her something to remember.

He turned his head to her, and forced the best smile he could. One that said, everything would be ok. And sure enough, he felt Namine's mood lighten, high up. That made it a little better.

Turning back, he stared into the purple oval in front of him. He held his breath in his throat, and stepped through.

**A/N: I feel the need to walk onto a train then stick my head out the doorway, and then let my brains splatter all over the outside of the train as the door collides with my head, as punishment for temporarily destroying my OTP. So, this fic was actually posted to as a contest entry, where if you post a fic that is somehow related to friendship, you could win a copy of the 358/2 days manga vol 4. I don't expect to win as many other talented people have made their own submissions, and writing serious stuff isn't my forte. **

**Heck I never thought I'd be writing a fic on just friendship until now. But I thought I'd write it, cos there's no harm and it could be fun. And it was, albeit a bit rushed. I don't expect this fic to do very well, cos again seriousness is not what I'm good at. But I thought I'd post it here just for the sake of getting a little bit more publicity. But anyway, hope you guys enjoyed, please fav if you did. And also don't forget to review this story, or else, Riku will become your friend, only to betray you the next day. **


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